Visionary Parenting: Capture a God-Sized Vision for your Family
“Are you missing what matters most?”
When someone says that something is hard, I am immediately intrigued. If they say it is painful, I am hooked. If they say, 90% of the people try it and fail, I am in. There might be something wrong with me, but I love a challenge.
While there are some benefits to this perplexingly draining but in some sense energizing insanity, I have a tendency to miss the wildest and dangerous challenge that is right in front of me. Discipling my children. Read that again. I didn't say disciplining but discipling.
Book 46 of 52 in the Tim Challies 2020 reading challenge for me is Visionary Parenting: Capture a God-Sized Vision for your Family by Dr. Rob Rienow.
The challenge in this matter is uncomic: “No one can compete with your power to bless your children, to build character in their hearts, and to lead them to faith in Jesus Christ” (p. 5).
The role of a parent cannot be overstated. And yet, why is it so often overlooked? I am sad to admit how many times I have said to myself; I will do that with them tomorrow, of the things I know I should do with them today.
Dr. Rienow’s book is not the best Christian parenting book ever written. But it is a good one. And if you are looking for a jumpstart to your parenting motivational battery to power your direction for 2021, then it will do the job! Here are my two favorite aspects that he touches on in the book.
1. Multigenerational Connection
“Western culture has embraced the values of Darwinian evolution. One of the essential viewpoints of an evolutionary worldview is that the elderly are no longer considered valuable to society” (p. 25).
Now, I disagree with Dr. Rienow’s statement quoted above in its current wording, as I believe my evolutionist colleagues would. The Darwinian evolutionary theory actually has many uses for the elderly as they represent and hold the knowledge base that is formidable for holding together a structured and coherent societal ecosystem from which the new generation can enhance, expand, and evolve from.
The problem isn’t as much Darwin as it is Google, Apple, Android, and Youtube. The rise in technology has changed the very place we receive answers to our questions or help with our problems. No longer do we visit or call our father, grandparent, family member, or close mentor with everyday questions, we just ask Siri. And we are naive to think this phenomenon has not affected the Church and how we see the next generation, and how our children are going to see us.
While I disagree with his logic, I fully agree with his position that Christian families need multigenerational involvement. Every age must witness and benefit from the legacy of faith found in the church.
2. Parents Disciple their Children, Not the Church
“God’s plan for your children is to learn obedience and submission to loving parents they can see, so they are ready to learn obedience and submission to a loving God they cannot see” (p. 116).
My favorite moment while reading this book is somewhat perfunctory since it came when reading Dr. Rienow quote one of my favorite preachers, Charles Spurgeon.
“How can we hope to see the Kingdom of our Lord advance when His own disciples do not teach His gospel to their own children?” (p. 100).
Snap.
Those words cut to the heart of the matter within the western church and sadly my own four walls. Discipleship starts in the home with our own children. And this doesn’t just happen "naturally" as we go throughout our day. That is why the Shema is followed by instructing parents to intentionally teach the law of God to their children throughout their entire day, and repeat it the next day and the one after that.
And I love how Dr. Rienow adds, that when we see bad behavior we should think of discipleship rather than discipline. Behavior modification without the gospel will only produce well-mannered citizens of hell. As parents, we must consider each disciple moment an opportunity to proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ and help our children on their discipleship walk.
Overall, not the best book on Christian parenting, but a good one, and one worth your time!
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John Owen came from Welsh descent, was educated at Queens College, and became a renowned Puritan theologian, Oxford professor, and passionate pastor who lived from 1616 to 1683. In 1647, he wrote the exhaustive treatise The Death of Death defending Limited or Definite Atonement against the Arminian view of Universal Atonement or Unlimited Atonement.