Uncommon: Biblical Manhood and Finding Significance
“Being a man is more than leaving our wives husbandless, our children fatherless, our employers passionless, our families hopeless. You can be more. You were created to be me”
A true man is uncommon.
"In a common world, becoming an uncommon man begins by cultivating uncommon character" (p. 8).
Godly masculinity is the critique of this age. The church is consistently citing research and studies that show a lack of Godly male leadership in churches, the private sector, and the public square.
One of those critiqued arenas is the realm of professional sports. In a sea of "thanking God for winning" and Philippians 4:13 tattoos, it is hard to find authentic passionate orthodox Christianity.
Tony Dungy appears to be the exception.
This is week 19 of 52 in the Tim Challies 2020 reading challenge, and the assignment was to read a book recommended by a friend. I fully consider my father a friend, and he recently gave me a signed copy of Uncommon: Finding Your Path to Significance by Tony Dungy.
Tony Dungy is 1 of 3 people in history to win a Super Bowl as both a player and a coach. Whether you are reading his book, listening to him broadcast a football game, or watch reruns of him as a player or coach, you will instantly observe the man's humility.
While saturated with football stories and analogies, this book is not just for pigskin fans.
Tony touches on core aspects of what he calls an Uncommon man. He argues that true manhood is centered upon Godly character.
Tony and his writer Nathan Whitaker have crafted a simple to read, easy to follow, and slap you in the face convicting book that is founded upon biblical principles and God's Word.
This book is not meant to be a biblical theology on masculinity. It is meant to be a resource for any man to pick up and examine their life and walk in the light of the simple truths of God's word.
What follows are some of the highlights I took away.
Fatherhood
Want to be a good Dad? Love your wife. "And the most important way to show that love to your wife is to be involved: as a leader, listener, and encourager" (p. 43).
I recently talked with a Dad who was struggling to connect with his son. After a lot of conversation, I simply asked him, how is he loving his son's mom.
As Dad's, our kids are watching how we treat their Mom. They want us to love her, cherish her, protect her, defend her, and even agree, support, and administer with her discipline in the family.
Being a good Dad starts by being a good husband, and loving our wives as Christ has loved the church, and gave himself up for her!
Unfortunately, our number one excuse for why we fail in this category is work.
Work
"Leave your Work at Work" (p. 121).
Easier said than done.
Immediately, we have excuses. I know I do.
In the military, you are supposed to be available 24/7/365. I remember when Janelle and I were on approved leave in Hawaii. Our first morning, just as we sat down for breakfast amidst a gorgeous crisp Hawaiian sunrise, my phone starts blowing up with "urgent" work matters.
Sometimes you cannot control when work interrupts your life.
But most of the time you can.
Tony opens up in the book about his son taking his own life. To this day, none of their family understand why he did it. But he comments over and over again, that the thing he wishes for the most is more time.
Time is a limited commodity. Everytime we make a decision we trade time for something.
"Just because your body is in the house, it doesn't mean that you are there" (p. 57).
Being present is a constant battle that you cannot slack in the least. As Tony says, "There's always something you could be doing… When you get home, be home. Your mind will no doubt wander to your work" (p. 124).
I wrote a big smiley face next to that quote because I say that first line to Janelle all the time.
We need to strive to have the same focus we have in the office on projects as we do in the home with our families.
Significance
"Have you figured out what God has placed you here to do, and are you doing it to the best of your abilities? Therein lies the answer to significance" (p. 216).
Tony revisits this theme throughout the book.
What has God put in your heart to do? Are you living it according to his Word? Are you going after it with all your might?
It does not matter if you are a janitor or own the building where janitors work.
Significance is found in following God's calling on your life.
"A life centered on Christ, one that "chases after God," will not only help to free us from being preoccupied with our success, our careers, and our finances—all of which Solomon says is "chasing the wind"—but it also will redirect our focus so that we can learn to embrace the priorities that truly matter" (p. 154).
What truly matters?
Believing in Jesus Christ and living as his disciple.
The Westminster Catechism is famous for its statement on the chief end of man, "to glorify God and enjoy him forever."
Tony makes a statement in the middle of the book that I really like but want to add one large clarification.
He says, "Be yourself – the self that God created" (p. 92).
I love that because it is encouraging us to embrace how God has uniquely created each of us with our own dispositions, interests, personalities, and perspectives.
However, this is what I would add.
"Be yourself—the self that God created—the self that God redeemed"
This is critical because how you were born is not who God has declared you to be.
You were bought with a price, redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ, you are no longer your own, but a servant of Jesus Christ.
Our significance is rooted in Christ's sacrifice.
To finish with the word of Paul in Phil 3:7-11:
"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead."
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John Owen came from Welsh descent, was educated at Queens College, and became a renowned Puritan theologian, Oxford professor, and passionate pastor who lived from 1616 to 1683. In 1647, he wrote the exhaustive treatise The Death of Death defending Limited or Definite Atonement against the Arminian view of Universal Atonement or Unlimited Atonement.